Imma cut yuz up so bad, you gonna wish I not cut ya up so bad.

I says biiiiiiitch....

Stop da tickling! Or I'll break both cha arms!

Can't readz my poker face

I don't always rest on teh pillowz, but when i dos, i make sure its pinks and fuzzy.

 What is yous doin wit dos scissors?

I shall taste test dis weed here foy mahself.

Dey say teh weeds in teh front yard are even better den da ones in da back.

Sometimes i feel like there isn't really a world beyond this yard, you know?

Interesting story... I think... Actually, I wasn't listening.

I had to put my foot down, I said "No fightin' on the lap children!"

So then i told him, you best come back wit mah money, or it'll be teh end of your days.

Where's my money???

You made biscuits and didn't share? ...I'm just so hurt, man. 

Dude... where do you keep the biscuits?